I haven’t found the right person yet, because I don’t even go out to meet people. I’m all about my work and hanging out with my girls lately, I avoid guys at all costs sometimes. & I’m not the type that’s down to settle for just anyone. I’m not going to just be with the first person that asks me out or wants to be my boyfriend. That’s not how I am. I have to like you, A LOT. I have to that connection, that I don’t with anyone else. That rare quality is what I’m waiting for. That’s when I won’t be single anymore, when I find that.
I would say it sucks, but it doesn’t entirely. I know there’s people who are doing worse than me, and there’s plenty doing better. I just have to count my blessings. I constantly drown myself in my bad times, even when I have nothing to be sad about. I need to change that, I need to get out of these shoes. Life is tough, it always has been for me.. but I just need to get it through my hard ass head I’m not the only one who has it rough.
I know people are going to attack me when I say that I don’t feel beautiful.. but it’s the truth. I’m constantly picking at my flaws, I literally have mental issues when it comes to this. BDD. I think it comes from the way I was raised. When I was younger, no one ever told me I was beautiful no one ever told me I was pretty, no one ever liked me in elementary, middle, or high school. So as I got older, and things started changing.. Even if people say those things now, it was when they called me ugly, and all those hurtful words that remain in my mind. That’s what stuck. So for the answer to your question, No. I do not feel beautiful. I still feel ugly, and all those things people used to call me. & No, I don’t say it so people could tell me I’m not ugly. That’s really not the case. I’m giving my honest opinion. I don’t see it. I don’t see the beauty. All I see is a girl covered up with makeup in order to look a little decent. That girl you see in the pictures ? She does not look beautiful, if it weren’t for the make up.