I can’t get my mind straight, it’s all over the place. I’ve been misplacing things more than usual. Forgetting my plans, worrying about things constantly.. more than usual. I feel sick right after I eat, and I have this really bad ache in my back. I can’t sleep, and when I finally do… and I wake up. I feel so tired, so drained, so dead. When I’m driving, I always pass up the exits I’m suppose to take. I feel stressed, and I have random moments where I just want to cry. I feel restless, and useless. I can’t stay in one place, and I hate when I’m alone. Yet, I’m alone most of the time.. because everyone’s so busy. My mom calls me non stop, and I pick up her phone calls, when I do. & I find out she’s at the gambling house, I hang up and get mad, and then the routine repeats itself all over again. I am not motivated to go out with any guys, because none of them seems right for me. Or the fact that I’m legit scared. I’m scared of guys now. I’m afraid of what they could do to me. I don’t want to be near them. I try to remain calm, and under pressure..
but I’ve just about had it.
I don’t know what to do with myself, I just feel so messed up.