Daily Dose of my mind.

I know, I’ve changed. For the better or worse, I really don’t know. I don’t care that I have, I just want you to be with me through it. I get, that I’m heartless . . do you get why ? Have you tried to understand me? Have you tried to stand in my shoes? I see it, you despise the way I am now, but what gives you the reason to hate me for what you did, no better ? 

i wish you could see what was wrong, 
that when I tell you I’m okay, I’m really not.
Why is that my friends who I’ve hung out less times then with you can see all that, but not you ?  Why is that, I’m trying so hard to make things work, but it seems like you aren’t doing anything. Why is it, I try to make things easy, but what is ever done for me ?  Why am I the one hurting, and you are Okay ?     

wowrandywow:

x-shnookms:

Having a relationship with someone is what people known as the 50/50; don’t get me wrong, but I only partially agree. Relationships are more complicated than it is, admit it to yourself ‘cause obviously many won’t regardless whether they’re in one or not. There will be hidden thoughts, words that are left unsaid and lots of holding back; those are sacrifices. You decide what you want to do to not lose the person you are with, so one has to do more than another - 75/50.

You can be with someone/getting to know someone; explaining to them what you’ll do, how you’ll react if this or that happens, describe what the relationship would be like but in the end - nothing will ever come close to your description unless it actually happens in reality. UNLESS you can actually infer to what that person is saying ‘cause that’ll be an exception. Otherwise everything is just words, nothing but senseless verbs. Let’s start taking action, but ease up a bit and start relaxin’.

I’m getting this from a astrology book. Which only tells the bad parts about signs. LOL

“You meet, you greet, you smile, you do eye contact & call people by their first names. You’re just as good as it gets, in a committed relationship.  To you ; What is out of sight, is out of mind. Therefore, you dump regularly.  So when you meet people again, the people you’ve met, you simply just don’t remember them. They say, you’re in love with love. Whenever you get what you want, you don’t want it. You flatter and flirt, fondle and kiss, and make boudoir eyes at your prey; but you don’t unbridled lust.. because you still have decency to believe in true love.0”

Incompatibility Rating:

Aries & I ;
  They will be too into themselves and the action, then to actually be with you. This could be a poor match, for they have differences that needs to be well balanced. 

Taurus & I ;
   They trample and gore anyone you smile at, being they are jealous of anyone around you. 

Gemini & I ;
     Same games, Same tactics. You two both, are too careless.  Yet, one sign compliments each other well… as carefree as they get . They can find common ground.

Cancer & I ;
    Both sensitive and romantic, Though cancer may be possessive of freedom loving Libra. The sensitive cancer can rest assured that Libra is generally peace-loving and won’t stir things up. They indulge you. 

Leo & I ;
   They expect unconditional adoration; but you admire everything..
You refuse to feel for just one admiration. Libra has love for all things. The hale and hearty may be not sensitive enough for Libra’s nature. 

Virgo & I ;
   Macrobiotic love potion ?

Libra & I ;
    You know how magnets with the same polarity repel each other ? Welll..  

Scorpio & I ;
  They know you know that they know that you are a tease & a day tripper. Scorpio knows well of Libra’s games. Libra, is freedom loving.. scorpio is more crabby. 

Sagittarius & I ;
  When you are prettily piqued, they don’t notice.

Capricorn & I ;
   They buy you diamond earrings, but keep them in their own safe. Libra finds the capricorn too boring.. but the capricorn finds Libra quite intriguing.

Aquarius & I ;
 You are from Venus they are from another galaxy. You will have to connect on some other level that is reachable. 

Pisces & I ;
   Their scales are a lot more slippery than yours. Libra can get along with a lot of people, but the pisces is more discrimaitive. 

 

Let me be honest here,

For a second there, I almost thought I was actually maybe kinda sorta in love. SPLIT SECOND.. and then I find out that I’m just imagining it all in my head. Of course, I shoulda seen it commin’. I mean, com’ on leslie ?! What happpened to you ? How did you let yourself fall like that ? First time ever. You’re the one with, control. You lost yourself a little. ):  It’s okay though, I’m over it. This time, I’m really on the edge about everything. My eyes are open. HAHA. Well, anywho.. yeah. There’s not much to say, besides I got screwed over and it left me feeling stupid. Like, I never let this happen to me. So why start now?  Right.  Leslie, you’re moving on.

Now, on the other hand.. I’ve been pushing people farther and farther from me. & I’m sooo sorry for that ): Eeeek. Like Soo sorry. All this has been stressing me.

Gonna go now..

I feel so used. From my own parents. Like REALLY ?  My mother has never really been my mother. So that’s nothing fucking new. but FUCK. So, she only wants me to live with her so that she can go gamble when ever she wants cos she would have ME to watch HER MOM. Like, God.. I love my grandma dearly.. and I would do anything for her. but i hate that my mother is getting benifieted from it. Like, she GETS PAID 3k a month to watch her own mother. WTFUCK is up with that shit ?! -____-v   & she doesn’t give me allowance or anything so wtf mann. So i told her, I’m moving to my dads. She yells at me and says no. I’m like WTF.  YOU ONLY WANT ME HERE SO YOU CAN GO OUT. Well, I’m not the one getting paid. So I have no need to stay here. YOU SHOULD FUCKING START TO DO YOUR JOB . PLEASE !