Sophomore year, I got pulled out of high school because my parents thought there were too many bad influences around me. They thought I did drugs, because I would faint, & black out at random times. Then, when I was pulled out.. I still blacked out so we actually went to the doctors, and that’s when they realize I didn’t do drugs. haha. So, I stayed homeschooling because it was getting harder to manage my health. I went back junior year for a couple of weeks, and senior year for the first month.. but both times, they pulled me out once again.
I don’t mind.. but I’m straight. (:
I just want to go to a school dance. LOL
Why are you anonymous ? /:
or maybe it’s just my awkward moment.
Well, not that bad… but close enough.
I’m used to getting turned down, rejected, heartbroken. Therefore, when the time comes that somebody does like me.. I have absolutely no idea what to do. That’s how new it is to me.
Funny, because the answer was here all along. I just simply, never had something close enough to remind me what it was. So long, that I simply forgot about it. So let me tell you why. This is what I lack. I lack showing guys I’m interested in them. I show the ones, I don’t care for much.. that I think they’re cute. Though, that’s as far as it gets. It’s been awhile, since I crossed paths with somebody who wants to be in a relationship with me. Honestly, every bit of me doubts the idea of that.. sub-conciously. Every time a guy comes near me, I become afraid. I shut off, my guards build up. This invisible, is unbreakable. This wall, it makes people wonder.. “how the hell could it be this thick ?” I don’t know. I really don’t know, why I’m this way anymore. Lately, no matter how many guys have hit on me.. I turned them all down. There was a few, I wanted a little more than I thought I did.. but those were the ones that didn’t have the mutual feeling. That’s fine though. I moved past that.. but as of right now, I’m stuck. It’s like, finally when someone takes interest in me.. I push them away. I give them all these reasons, to leave.. to not stick around for this girl.. who’s not worth the trouble. Not worth the time. I make it harder for myself.. and harder for somebody else to like me. I do it, unintentionally. I didn’t even realize I do it, til’ now. I guess, I stopped trying. I got lazy. I don’t care as much as I want too.. or I don’t want to show it. I’m just complex like that.. because I know for a fact, if it were to be any other girl. She’s take the chance to be with him, in a heart beat.. but me ? Me ? I can’t do it.
aaww thankyou <3 (:
Yeah, I always wanted to be a CIA agent.. or like Something government type. Not cops or like popo’s. They have ugly uniforms. /:
I have little water gun though from like freshman year.
thankyou so muchhhh<3
Man i promise, i’m so self conscious …I honestly hate it. See, the thing is I never was told I was good looking or cute until the ending towards sophomore year so, every time I hear those words I usually ignore it so if you tell me “oh, your cute” and I tell you I’m not. It doesn’t mean oh I want you to keep telling me again its just i honestly don’t think that i am. I have a self esteem issues, its natural for me to compare myself to every other person and lower myself down. Yeah I have high expectations i’m sorry if I tried making you live up to them. I usually run away from my problems before they get worse…because I find it easier on myself when I know things don’t work out it would be on me and my fault and I was to blame. Yeah its really stupid of me to do because I just make myself feel like shit but its just natural for me to do. Its just sometimes I don’t feel like I deserve you, yeah i’m a lucky guy but I would rather have someone else be with you and treat you better than I can. “im like a spider, there more afraid of you than you are to them.” so approach me because I never make the first move. Yeah it sucks that this is programed into my system like a robot…but i’m working on it.
MY LIFE, EXACTLY.
…………… WOW. LOLOLOLOL
Computer nerd. ):
He can sick my duck. (,:
I’m keeling myself. LOL
I’ve been doing it all day ):